You have been hearing me say for months how much K and I have going on these days. We knew this month was going to be a tough one and having been mentally prepared for this journey has definitely helped cope with the stress and anxiety of moving, transitioning into a new phase of life, and bringing a new life into this world. With that said, there have been moments... There have been moments where a straw broke the camels back and it felt like my world was crumbling down... there have been moments where something so simple that I would have laughed off any other day of the year could send me into a tailspin and bring out sides of me that I never knew existed... there have been moments where no amount of preparation could have saved my good attitude...today we are talking about one of those moments.
It all happened this past Tuesday night. One moment we were sitting with my parents and telling them about the amazing things that had happened this week, and the next I was consumed with an anger I had not felt in years. I felt the fiery rage of my youthful temper creeping up inside of me, and I saw the literal fear in my husband's eyes when I looked back at him for some kind of reinforcement. I could not believe what had happened right in front of me. That I had let this happen. That something I was so damn excited about was so quickly torn apart (literally...)...
Lenny, my 1-year-old Golden Retriever puppy, had eaten the strap off of my brand new Lululemon tote.
My mom quickly scrambled to extract my beautiful bag from Lenny's jaws, while I ran toward my little red dog with vengeance on the mind. K saw the look in my eyes and quickly intercepted and removed Lenny from the situation - putting him in timeout in his crate - a decision that probably saved Lenny-digity a good smack-down from a very angry and very pregnant mom.
All of this might sound like a crummy situation, but what happened next was the icing on the cake. As K walked back upstairs from putting Lenny in timeout, amidst my examination of the damages, he exclaimed (in a very unsympathetic and rude tone) "Nicole, it's just a bag. You have a million of them. Don't let it ruin your life".
Oh, hell no.
No, this was not JUST A BAG. Yes, while the material item in front of my was in fact just a bag, there was so much more that went into this purchase that you could not just chalk this up to being "just a bag". This bag was a purchase I had been noodling on for over 3 weeks. This was the bag that I was going to use to pack for the birthing center. This was the bag that was going to be my last splurge on myself before my son arrived. This was my "to me, from me" Christmas gift. I had worked hard, and I had earned this bag. This was my reward, and now it was just scraps.
After a few awkward hours of tension, one very long talk, and a kiss and make-up moment - K, Lenny and I were all on good terms again. I apologized to my little red dog for getting so upset at him, when honestly, it was probably my fault. The bag was on the ground and after all, he is just a puppy. I apologized to K for biting his head off when he was just trying to diffuse the situation and K owned up to some poor choice words said in anger and even offered to help resolve the situation for me!
Lo and behold, my darling husband pulled through (as always). Yesterday he walked into Lululemon with a partially chewed up bag and left with a brand new one in hand. Turns out, when you walk into a store where all the managers own Golden Retrievers and the first words you utter out of your mouth are "help me, my wife is 38 weeks pregnant and our puppy just killed her hospital bag", people take pity on you. It also really helps if you have a phone full of adorable pictures of said puppy.
If this experience has taught me anything it is all is well that ends well. For the past few months leading up to this crazy time in our life, I have told myself that if I just keep it together then it will all be okay, and I have honestly killed it with the big stuff that has happened. But as I have come to learn so many times in my life, you cannot control everything and you will have moments.